Privacy Policy
Contained within is the Privacy Policy for ScottBernstein.comNOTE: THE FOLLOWING PRIVACY POLICY IS HERE FOR, I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT REASON. I
ALWAYS SEE THEM ON OTHER SITES SO I ASSUME I NEED ONE AT MY SITE TOO. CHECK OUT MY SITE AT YOUR
OWN RISK. IF VIEWING THE MATERIALS AT THIS SITE CAUSE THE VIEWER TO RELAPSE, I, SCOTT BERNSTEIN, CANNOT
BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR IT. I'M ALSO NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY EYE STRAIN YOU'RE GETTING RIGHT NOW FROM
TRYING TO READ THIS STUPID PRIVACY POLICY. HEY! TRY TO SAY PRIVACY POLICY 10 TIMES FAST.
NOT SO EASY. IS IT?
We have created this privacy statement in order to demonstrate our firm and continuing commitment to
the privacy of personal information provided by those visiting and interacting with this web site. We hold
the privacy of your personal information in the highest regard. The following discloses our information
gathering and dissemination practices for this website.
What Information Do We
Collect?
When you visit this web site you may provide us with two types of information: personal information you knowingly
choose to disclose that is collected on an individual basis and Web site use information collected on an aggregate
basis as you and others browse our Web site.
What Are
Cookies?
A cookie is a cake/cracker like food made as a snack and also served as a
dessert after a meal. Over decades, cookies have been given to children as treats for behaving
properly. Years ago, small chocolate morsels were dropped into the uncooked batter (now referred to as cookie
dough) and cooked to melt inside the cookie. Those cookies are now probably the most famous and enjoyed of
all cookies and are know as the Chocolate Chip Cookie. Other types of cookies consist of wafer cookies,
"sugar" cookies, "ladies fingers" and by famous brands such as Oreos, Nilla Wafers and Fudgetown cookies. I'm
not sure why today's computers use cookies to operate. Perhaps they get hungry from all the work they do or
they need the cookies for energy due to the power that today's computers need to run on. I'm not sure where
to insert the cookies without getting crumbs all over the place. Please check your
computer's manual for more assistance.
How Do We Use
Information We Collect from Cookies?
Information collected from cookies are usually used to steal secret recipes and be
used to produce the same cookies in our kitchen; hopefully with the same crunchiness, moisture and
taste. This technology has been used for years by people trying to duplicate Mrs. Fields, Davids, Famous
Amos, Keebler, Nestles Toll House, Chips Ahoy! and Friehoffers. Usually to no
avail.
IP
Addresses
At ScottBernstein.com we keep a list of addresses for anyone that has the initials
I.P. So far the only person we've been able to find is an old friend Ira Pearlman, but we'll keep
looking. I'm not really sure why though.
Disclaimer
Starts Friday at a theatre near you.
Parental Guidence is suggested. Action figures sold separately. Some assembly required. Void where
prohibited. Rates based on a three minute interstate AT&T call. Batteries not included. No
one under 21 permitted. Paid for by the U.S. Army. Byyyy Mennen. A Special Note About
Children
Children are not eligible to use our services unsupervised and we ask that children
(under the age of 14) do not submit any personal
information to us OR view the site without a parent present. This site may at some time contain shocking
nudity. If you are a minor, remember to wear a helmet with a light on top and to wash the coal off your
hands before you eat.
Policy
Modifications
We may change this Privacy Policy
from time to time. If/when changes are made to this privacy policy, we will email users who have given us
permission to do so. We will post any changes here, so be sure to check back periodically. However, please be
assured that if the Privacy Policy changes in the future, we will not use the personal information you have
submitted to us under this Privacy Policy in a manner that is materially inconsistent with this Privacy Policy,
without your prior consent.
© 2010 ScottBernstein.com
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